It is 2014. In 2000 I was diagnosed with Viral Cardio-Myopathy. A viral infection had attacked my heart and greatly enlarged and weakened my left ventricle. Some people do recover from it. For some it is just a downward weakening and after years of taking it easy they succumb to the damage. I asked the Lord to grant me life till Samuel Rutherford, my youngest son, turned 18 and graduated. God has been very gracious to me and my sons by allowing me to live this long. I have acquaintances who weren’t granted that privilege who had the same disease and level of damage done. So I am grateful.
Some of my friends know that this past year has been rather hard on me. I have had a pacemaker / defibrillator put in and experienced a few episodes where my Congestive Heart Failure has flared up. The outer shell or part of my heart is hardening and losing its elasticity. The left Ventricle valve is also weakening so that after it pumps blood the blood does swish back in to the chamber evidently. I have been trying to stay active and live life as I have for the past many years Drag Racing Slot cars and doing things with my Church family. But I have slowed down significantly this past year with Church and my Racing. Things really wear me out more significantly. But I have been blessed to be able to spend a lot more time with my Sister and Mother going antiquing and wondering around local cities visiting stores and working in my yard and on the house. I love spending time with Mom and Sis. I have also been able to spend good time with my Dad.
Recently some of you know I have started having problems with coughing up blood from my lungs. It was rather alarming to me. I have had a few blood tests done and I am awaiting results from an xray I had done on Monday. It seems my CHF is acting up again and during the coughing episodes it may be that some blood vessels have burst in my lungs. So my dosage of my water pills have been increased and it seems to be doing the job.
I usually don’t like talking about this openly but I shared a bit on the Puritanboard and asked for prayer as I was anxious about it. I personally don’t like being the center of attention and hate drama. Life is good and focusing on the bad stuff usually just depresses me. So I try to focus on the positive stuff. I prefer to be thankful my cup has some water in it at all instead of thinking about how much is gone. Contentment is priceless and I struggle to be content. Especially as I look upon my life and all the failure I have given myself to. God is surely a merciful, gracious, and Loving God.
Anyways, I just thought I would update you all and say thank you all for the warm friendships I have and all of the kind hugs, words of encouragement, and gifts to help me overcome lifes wonderful trials. Yes, my trials have been wonderful (even though I have not liked many of them) as God has proven himself to be my God and my Treasure. They have also proven to me who my friends are and how important the body of Christ is. Without the faithful guidance and oversight of my friends and Elders I would have been ship wrecked many times over as I am given to desire many things that are not pleasing to God or beneficial for life in general. Faithful are the wounds of a friend as the scriptures say.
I plan on spending more time reading good books this year and reading my Bible a bit more purposefully. After all, Jesus said man cannot live by bread alone but by EVERY WORD that proceeds out of the mouth of God. We know that we have that word written down for us as St. Peter called it A MORE SURE WORD as he compared it to the audible voice of God which he heard in the Mount of Transfiguration.
(2Pe 1:12) Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth.
(2Pe 1:13) Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance;
(2Pe 1:14) Knowing that shortly I must put off this my tabernacle, even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath shewed me.
(2Pe 1:15) Moreover I will endeavour that ye may be able after my decease to have these things always in remembrance.
(2Pe 1:16) For we have not followed cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of his majesty.
(2Pe 1:17) For he received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came such a voice to him from the excellent glory, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
(2Pe 1:18) And this voice which came from heaven we heard, when we were with him in the holy mount.
(2Pe 1:19) We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts:
(2Pe 1:20) Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.
(2Pe 1:21) For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.
I don’t think I am ready to pass anytime soon but I do love St. Peter’s admonition to pay more attention to God’s word. I certainly do and admonish all of my friends and loved ones to run to the word and keep their lamps fully fueled as the 5 wise virgins in Matthew 25. Having been a student of the scriptures for over 30 years complacency has set into my life a few times. May I not be apathetic nor complacent. It is so easy for me to become complacent and be like the 5 foolish virgins.
(Mat 25:1) Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
(Mat 25:2) And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.
(Mat 25:3) They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:
(Mat 25:4) But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.
(Mat 25:5) While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
(Mat 25:6) And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
(Mat 25:7) Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.
(Mat 25:8) And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.
(Mat 25:9) But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.
(Mat 25:10) And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
(Mat 25:11) Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
(Mat 25:12) But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.
(Mat 25:13) Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.
Pray for my sons. They need it. Two aren’t walking with God at all. One of those two has totally abandoned the faith. The youngest one struggles as we all do. I was a poor example in many ways. I let my battle scars show too much in front of them and it effected them. Being a single parent was hard. We all are still close and love each other very deeply. At least God has given us grace to know and love each other despite ourselves. There is still a lot of work for me to do here so I am not ready to give in to my health issues. God’s grace is sufficient.
Thanks for your prayers and love.
Sincerely in Christ,